Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sunday, December 7, 2008

But I don't want to be the mommy!

One of my earliest gender alternative moments that I can remember came from kindergarten.

I remember the way our kindergarten room was set up, desks towards the front of the room, the back of the room having a thick carpet to play on, low shelves full of toys, games and blocks, and in the corner, a "house" type setup complete with fully stocked kitchen, table, chairs, high chair with baby, etc.

My favorite toy was the bristle blocks. I could play with those all day, every day, and I tried to. I was always the first to get to them - I bypassed the wooden blocks, legos, games... just so I could build with those blocks. I loved building things. Wooden blocks came in a close second, if the bristle blocks weren't available.

At some point, the teacher decided I shouldn't play with them anymore.

I remember I went to get the box of blocks from the shelf, and she led me away from them, taking me over instead to the kitchen where the other girls were playing. They were cooking, taking care of the baby, having tea at the table, and being.. well.. girly. I think I might've wrinkled my nose.

I didn't want to play house. I didn't want to be the mommy. I wanted to build.

The teacher wouldn't let me go back to the blocks, she insisted I play in the kitchen. The other girls tried to get me involved, I guess, but I wasn't interested.

I finally broke down and told them I'd play, but only if I could be the Daddy.

Saturday, November 29, 2008


"Boi Polloi", derivation from the terms "Boi" and "Hoi Polloi", as defined below:

Hoi polloi (Greek: οἱ πολλοί), an expression meaning "the many" (literally: "the citizens") in Greek, is used in English to denote "the masses" or "the people", usually in a derogatory sense. Synonyms for "hoi polloi" include "...commoners, great unwashed, minions, multitude, plebeians, proletariat, rabble, rank and file, riffraff, the common people, the herd, the many, the masses, the peons, the working class". (Wikipedia)

Boi (plural: bois)
is a term used within LGBT and butch and femme communities to refer to a person's sexual and gender identity. In lesbian communities, there is an increasing acceptance of gender expression and intersexuality, as well as allowing people to self-identify with labels such as boi.

....Boi may also refer to a female-born or female-bodied person—sometimes transsexual, transgendered, or intersexed, sometimes not—that generally does not identify as, or only partially identifies as feminine, female, a girl, or a woman. Some "bois" identify as one or more of these, but they almost always identify as lesbians, dykes, or queers. Many are also genderqueer or practice genderfuck. Bois may prefer a range of pronouns, including "he", "she", or gender-neutral pronouns such as "hir", "sie", "zie", and "ey". The term has found increasing usage in the larger LGBT culture. (Wikipedia)

This is who I am.

The purpose of this blog is to document moments in my life, in the past, the present and the future, as a transgender person who identifies as third gender. A few quick things about myself, to put this blog into context:

- I was born biologically female.
- I will be 35 in a few weeks. My first transgender memories stem from age 5.
- I have done the marriage thing, the kids thing, and the divorce thing.
- I'm currently in a relationship with a heterosexual male.
- I have no interest in surgical transition, except for a breast reduction.
- I do, however, present often as male, through dress and manner. To me, this is the most comfortable presentation.

I'm hoping that this blog (and oh how I hate that term) will help educate others about the myriad of people who lie outside the gender binary, as well as to aid me in coping with my life as a self-defined gender outlaw.